Sometimes i don't even know why i am a teacher. The funny thing is before i became a teacher, i dressed how i wanted to, spoke how i wanted to, act however i wanted to. But ever since becoming a teacher, i feel like i have changed. Little by little, i start to see myself as someone who influence people around me, so what i wear, how i spoke and how i acted mattered. It matters that i stand firm to truths and to remember to keep to values that would make society a better place. Life becomes not all about me anymore. ( Still not perfect obviously )
Will i be a teacher for the rest of my life? I do not know. I wonder if i'll ever do design again. But i am certain God has His ways with me, and sometimes i won't learn certain things if i am not where i am now. He is always preparing us for whatever is next, and boy i am sure He would be the best coach, and yes, to even the most rebellious or proud a student. He would know how to discipline and humble so we may be ready to successfully be obedient to His calling of us, that would be of great blessings and wonder.
I remember in my final year of Uni in Sydney studying fashion design. Treasuring what He thought me while i skateboard with Him, He teaches me a valuable lesson on falling, we are bound to fall, but how else will we learn to fly? We learn from our mistakes, its good to do research and to learn and watch from those who were successful from the past, but still , we have to try, we have to make mistakes, we have to get back up, and we have to move on forward.
Don't think i did very well in my final year, but the Lord was kind, i won competitions, somehow i felt the Lord truly gave it to me, but not because of how good/holy i am, because looking back, i was not really that good at all, but perhaps its because i trusted Him, and was remembered of the scene of Peter walking on water, and He had to fix His eyes on Jesus or he will drown in his circumstances and storms .. i remember now knowing what to do after i graduated, i thought perhaps God would sent me to be a missionary because wouldn't that be a worthy calling, look at people like Brother Yun, how amazing is His life, and how my life look so superficial compared. But now i have learned that, we are all allotted a measure of faith. I guess i remembered praying for God to sent me wherever He wanted me to go.
He wonderfully gave me a scholarship to Italy, everything looked a mess, but everything worked out! I can still remember it and it was a magical moment. He just put everything in place, and reshuffled things to work, it was a beautiful mess! Its so funny how things could change just overnight, and suddenly from thinking nothing is happening, to wow, thanks God :)
After that i had 6-7months before Italy, and that was hard, i wondered if God would really allow it to happen or if perhaps it might not happen. I guess that period of waiting, taught me patience, and i also received my first taste of teaching during that time, because i went to help up to teach at a myanmar refugee. Perhaps i felt like a refugee myself and therefore knew how they felt, just waiting, just floating.
I remember touching down the city of Florence, all i can think about was how beautiful it was! And i even had a really cool place to live! God always always provided the best!!!!. Heck the time spend doing a Master's program was more like a holiday than anything!
Sometimes i wonder what i did to receive such blessings, and i guess nothing. Its not about me, He just like to bless His daughters who decided that Father knows best :) While i was thinking of wanted to be a missionary in some smelly place, God placed me in the most beautiful city in the world!:D, I did learn to sing hymns and read the bible more thoroughly there though. I did not think that actually God will want to bless us physically with wonderful beautiful thing, because i thought that Christian life is one of hardship and difficulties. But maybe i am wrong. Perhaps God truly want to always give His best to His children, but will we let Him be our provider all in all?
I do believe that this season of my life now looks nothing but glamorous and it has nothing i can boast about. I can't say i am a Fashion Design who has a label etc, all i can tell people is that i am a teacher, teaching teenagers. haha. i feel like people are just going to say,..oh... teacher... okay.... I guess God has His was in humbling me, and these are the times i would learn so much of what i need to learn.
I hope to remain brave in Him, to always be strengthen, to lean on His faithfulness. And to trust in His goodness.
With all my hopes and dreams, i know the Lord would not withhold truly that which is good for His daughters. Will we allow Him to write our story? :)
