rebel.

being a teacher taught me that discipline is important. So important for a child and teenager to learn submission, humility, self- control, a little less about self and more about the bigger picture and about others. So to be a better adult.

I used to think that school should be a little less rigid, not so heavy on rules. But the truth is, rules help everything work better and orderly. If this universe had no universal rules and order, if elephants could fly and mosquitoes could grow to the size of even a rat, if gravity denied itself, everything would come to chaos. I have learned to see the beauty of discipline and rules. he The harmony of beauty and order.

Of course all this without the underlying fact that love should be the reason for all this. The love towards the authority of God who set everything in its proper place. Who has taught us to submit to authority, His authority. And as He commands, to submit to human authority and to each other in love. It is a beautiful painting of sacrifice that brings joy. Joy from above that we won't quite understand until we do as he ask of us. A journey :)

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"No one will ever want to say to the Lord of the universe five minutes after death, I spent every night playing games and watching clean TV with my family because i loved them so much. I think the Lord will say, " That did not make me look like a treasure in your town. You should have done something besides provide for yourself and your family. And TV, as you should have known, was not a good way to nurture your family or your own soul. "

getting used.

its not easy getting used to something you are not forced to get used to.

i really want to change the way i spend my time and whatever i have God.

Praying too. His grace is sufficient.

:) daily joys.

“Christ is building His kingdom with earth's broken things. Men want only the strong, the successful, the victorious, the unbroken, in building their kingdoms; but God is the God of the unsuccessful, of those who have failed. Heaven is filling with earth's broken lives, and there is no bruised reed that Christ cannot take and restore to glorious blessedness and beauty. He can take the life crushed by pain or sorrow and make it into a harp whose music shall be all praise. He can lift earth's saddest failure up to heaven's glory.” 
― J.R. Miller

“We speak much of the duty of making others happy. No day should pass, we say, on which we do not put a little cheer into some discouraged heart, make the path a little smoother for someone’s tired feet, or help some fainting robin unto its nest again. This is right. We cannot put too great emphasis upon the duty of giving happiness and cheer to others. But it is no less a duty that we should be happy and cheerful ourselves.” 
― J.R. Miller

“The all-victorious Christ is like a great rock in a weary land, to whose shelter we may flee in every time of sorrow or trial, finding quiet refuge and peace in him.” 
― J.R. Miller

priceless gift

Eternal life.

God has given us eternal life through His Son Jesus Christ. Why is it, people would rather run to satisfy their earthly passion and desires. cravings. Its like having 2 choices per se.

1. Believe in Jesus Christ and receive Eternal Life. This would involve taking up your cross, denying yourself your own personal wants and desires, and following Christ. The Road is narrow and it may not be easy at all. Worldly success is not secured.

2. Do what i want and desire, follow my dreams, follow my heart. Work hard to live a life of luxury. Big house, nice car, vacations, great food, lovely clothes. Win a trip ticket to travel the world, Go shopping every single day. Dine fine dining every night. My way, My will , My life. Access denied to spending eternity with God. Forsaking His ways and not bothered about His will.

the 1st, you cant see. you can't feel. Its not directly infront of you. But its living within you, bearing eternal fruits. You may not have big car, big house , nice clothes when you seek this. the road might be tough, but you are joyful and full of peace. Knowing that it pleases the Father that you love others more than yourself. Becoming a servant, broken bread. Letting known to people of the wonderful gifts of God.

the 2nd is right in front of your eyes. You see people around you getting them. Lust of the eyes, Lust of the flesh and the Pride of Life. Glamour, Luxury, Coolness, Popularity, Money, Statue, Glits. Its obtainable , just believe in yourself. Just use your talents , work hard, give yourself to the world. Please them. Make sure you don't lose out.

I think as much as we like to think that we can have both. or that God is there to help us with no.2 but God already said that His Kingdom is not on earth. Flirt with the world all you like, you are only quenching the Holy Spirit.

Its as though the WHOLE WORLD is fallen. Its completely dark. Satan is its ruler. ( Okay im not just trying to sound weird . its true ) And as believers we are the light of the world. We shed something of the heavenly. Of the Eternal. Its important that our light is always shining! and that we are always salty!

Im guilty of being tempted by the things of the world.

I want to keep my eyes on things above :)

watchman nee

He does not want to see us suffer. We must be clear about this. God is reserving all the good things for His children. We can enjoy all of His provisions which He has given to us.

Suffering is a matter of choice, not a matter of imposition. We choose the way of suffering. We suffer willingly for the sake of serving Him. According to God's plan, we can avoid many sufferings. However, for the sake of serving God, we would rather gladly choose a way that is different from that of ordinary people. This is what it means to have a mind to suffer. Having a mind to suffer is a fundamental necessity in the character of a servant of God. Without such a mind, we will produce little results in our work, and the work we do will be very superficial in quality. If a worker of the Lord does not have a mind to suffer, he cannot work at all in the eyes of God. Let us speak of a few things related to this subject.

For instance, the Lord may put you in circumstances where you are provided with food and clothing and a nicely furnished home. It does not mean that you cannot continue to enjoy all the provisions He has given you. If the Lord has made such provisions, you can accept them from the Lord. But within, you still have a mind to suffer for Him. Although you are not suffering physically, you must have a mind to suffer. It is not a question of whether you have encountered something outwardly, but whether you have a mind to suffer inwardly. Do you have a mind to suffer even when circumstances are smooth and easy? The Lord may not arrange for you to suffer every day, but every worker of the Lord must not be short of a mind to suffer, not even for a single day. Suffering may not come to us daily, but a mind to suffer must be with us daily.

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Many brothers and sisters have become useless in God's service because they are afraid to take on any responsibility. They are irked by everything. They constantly hope for less work. They would rather choose less responsibility than more responsibility, and they would be happy to settle for no responsibility at all. They do not have a diligent character. If we are lazy, we are disqualified not only from God's service, but from man's service as well. Many brothers and sisters cannot be servants of the Lord because they are lazy.

What is diligence? It is the opposite of slothfulness. It is not shirking from responsibility. A diligent person does not try to reduce his work to nothing. On the contrary, he tries to create work out of nothing. In the Lord's service, it is quite possible for us to take a day or two of rest if we do not look for work. We should not be those who stand around idly waiting for something to turn up. If we work only when work turns up, we are not diligent persons. A diligent person is never idle; he is always looking for things to do. He is always pondering, praying, contemplating, and considering before God as to what he should do. 

Unless he exercises himself this way, he can find himself with nothing to do. If we only act "according to the book," we may soon find that there is not much of a book left. We should expect to find much work in our service to God. We should discover many needs. We have to pray much to the Lord and look to Him all the time. We should open our eyes, and as soon as we find something that needs to be done, we should do it. After we finish a job, we should wait on the Lord and look to Him again. And as soon as we find more to do, we should tackle it. Following this, we should seek God's will again, and take on yet another task. This is what it means to serve God. The Lord said, "My Father is working until now, and I also am working" (John 5:17). We must never change this verse to read, "My Father is resting until now, and I also am resting." Laziness is not our way; our way should be, "My Father is working until now, and I also am working."

 Today many people are hiding at home instead of journeying in God's way. Their eyes are not on what God is doing today. In John 5:17 the Lord said that He was always doing what His Father had sent Him to do. In John 4:35 He told us to lift up our eyes and look. If we do not lift up our eyes, we will not see anything. The matter of work is altogether related to the matter of diligence. It involves our conscientiousness. It is not a matter of taking care of what is in our hands, but a matter of lifting up our eyes to look for things to do. God is moving and acting behind many things, and we have to lift up our eyes to look for them in order to find them. We have to lift up our eyes to see the harvest and to see if it has ripened. Once we look, we will find work to do. How strange it is that so many people seem so idle; they seem to have nothing to do!

A diligent person always waits on God. As soon as he is free, he goes to the Lord and looks for things to do. He is always seeking an opportunity to work. A brother once said, "Brother So-and-so is not doing his job. So many brothers from out of town are here, and he will not spend any time to fellowship with them." Another brother asked, "Why do you not tell him?" The first brother answered, "Does something like that have to be said?" This is right. A servant of the Lord should always be waiting on God for things to do. Of course, this does not mean that he should move around and make a fuss ostentatiously. But it does mean that the Lord's servant should always be seeking God and looking to Him. He should build up the habit of lifting up his eyes and looking. If he is truly busy, God will not burden him with further work. But as soon as his time becomes available, he should ask, "Lord, what do You want me to do?" As long as we will lift up our eyes, we will find that many people need our service.

They pray day and night for their responsibilities to be reduced or eliminated altogether, and they yearn for the day when they will have no responsibilities at all. This is not the way our Lord works. He came to the world to seek out men, to take on responsibilities. He said that He came "to seek and to save that which is lost." He did not come just to make contacts with men; He came to seek them out. We must have this kind of character before we can go on with the Lord.

Let us, as dying men with fleeting breath and fading opportunity, give ourselves fully to preach the gospel to those who are dying around us. If we drag our feet and fail to see the needs around us, the responsibility that we bear, and the little time that we have, we will not get much of the Lord's work done. Today every servant of God has to serve with a dying urgency. Who can be slothful under such pressure? Brothers and sisters, we must arise and discipline our body in order to be diligent. As Paul said, we have to buffet our body and make it our slave. Just saying that we are eager to serve the Lord is not enough. If we are lazy, we will not be able to tackle any problem before us. Do not think that slothfulness is a small thing. Second Peter 1:8 says that slothfulness is laziness and idleness. We cannot be lazy, and we cannot be idle. We have to buffet our body again and again until we realize that a total, genuine, and daily sacrifice of our life is the only way to work and become useful. We cannot deceive ourselves. Some people say that they will gladly give up their lives for the Lord. Yet they live a lazy life. They try to spare themselves in everything. If they try to bring their character, habits, and disposition into the Lord's work, they will find that they are holding back the Lord's work! If Paul had waited every time for a Macedonian call before he worked, the book of Acts might have recorded only one mission of Paul to Macedonia. The Macedonian call was only one among many in Paul's work. As for the rest of his work, Paul carried it out with a burden which he bore before the Lord. If we have to wait for the brothers to come to us before we will work, we may wait a lifetime for nothing. We work because we have a burden, because we know that the time is short, the need is great, and Satan's attack is fierce. We are forced to be diligent. Slothfulness can make an otherwise useful man useless. It can turn a man of riches into a man who works only to a third, a fifth, or merely a tenth of what he is capable of! Everyone who knows God and who is useful in His hand is diligent.

God's lead.

Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Many things that seem risky are actually quite safe….It is safe to do these things provided they are done in obedience to God. No matter how frightening it may seem at the time, it is always safest to obey God.

-"Every decision can be made with the confidence that God is in control of the ship. Although every person's life consists of the sum total of innumerable big and little decisions (think about it!), Christians can be confident that God will help them make the right decisions. (See James 1:5-6.) Although some bad decisions will be made along the way (and some may be very bad!), let's not get the idea that mistakes will cause us to be permanently cast adrift on the Sea of Life. When we realize and acknowledge our mistakes, and look to God, He will provide us with navigational aids so that proper course corrections for our lives can be attained.
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7 C's
 Communicate with God about our decisions. " Acknowledge the lord in All your ways and He shall direct your path "

Conviction of the Holy Spirit

Common Sense for everyday decisions, what to eat, shoes to wear.

Composition , the way the Lord made me , 1 Peter 4:10 tells us that we should use "whatever gift we have received to serve others, administering God's grace in its various forms." On the Sea of Life, God can best use His tugboats, yachts, oil tankers, fishing boats or aircraft carriers when they're willing to do the job they were designed to do!

Counsel from Godly people that you can trust and see bear good fruits.

Circumstances are obviously another one of the Seven C's of God's guidance system. If you believe that God is sovereign, all-knowing, all-powerful and everywhere at the same time, is thereany circumstance that escapes His notice or is out of His control? Of course not! There is nothing that happens by mere chance, and that includes every last detail of our lives. If our all-wise and loving heavenly Father is completely sovereign, can He not control circumstances in such a way so as to lead us to make right decisions? Of course He can! God knows those special and particular niches in every area of life that are just right for every one of us, and He can send just the right winds across the Sea of Life to nudge our ship into the anchorage that is best for each one of us!

In the same way, God sometimes reaches in and takes control of our situation in such a way that we are no longer even involved in the decision! When we are suddenly removed from one ministry and find ourselves in the midst of a new ministry, without having made any decisions ourselves, it is probably a good indication that God is guiding us by control. Sometimes God steps in and controls our decision because some of the other C's seem to be pointing us in a certain direction, but God wants us to go in a different direction. At others times God controls our decision because He knows of some impending danger, or a future unlikely turn of events that a common sense decision-making approach would miss completely. And sometimes God just graciously chooses to use the "C" of Control to deliver us from the dilemma of doubt in the decision-making process."-  David R. Reid.