rebel.

being a teacher taught me that discipline is important. So important for a child and teenager to learn submission, humility, self- control, a little less about self and more about the bigger picture and about others. So to be a better adult.

I used to think that school should be a little less rigid, not so heavy on rules. But the truth is, rules help everything work better and orderly. If this universe had no universal rules and order, if elephants could fly and mosquitoes could grow to the size of even a rat, if gravity denied itself, everything would come to chaos. I have learned to see the beauty of discipline and rules. he The harmony of beauty and order.

Of course all this without the underlying fact that love should be the reason for all this. The love towards the authority of God who set everything in its proper place. Who has taught us to submit to authority, His authority. And as He commands, to submit to human authority and to each other in love. It is a beautiful painting of sacrifice that brings joy. Joy from above that we won't quite understand until we do as he ask of us. A journey :)

.

"No one will ever want to say to the Lord of the universe five minutes after death, I spent every night playing games and watching clean TV with my family because i loved them so much. I think the Lord will say, " That did not make me look like a treasure in your town. You should have done something besides provide for yourself and your family. And TV, as you should have known, was not a good way to nurture your family or your own soul. "

getting used.

its not easy getting used to something you are not forced to get used to.

i really want to change the way i spend my time and whatever i have God.

Praying too. His grace is sufficient.

:) daily joys.

“Christ is building His kingdom with earth's broken things. Men want only the strong, the successful, the victorious, the unbroken, in building their kingdoms; but God is the God of the unsuccessful, of those who have failed. Heaven is filling with earth's broken lives, and there is no bruised reed that Christ cannot take and restore to glorious blessedness and beauty. He can take the life crushed by pain or sorrow and make it into a harp whose music shall be all praise. He can lift earth's saddest failure up to heaven's glory.” 
― J.R. Miller

“We speak much of the duty of making others happy. No day should pass, we say, on which we do not put a little cheer into some discouraged heart, make the path a little smoother for someone’s tired feet, or help some fainting robin unto its nest again. This is right. We cannot put too great emphasis upon the duty of giving happiness and cheer to others. But it is no less a duty that we should be happy and cheerful ourselves.” 
― J.R. Miller

“The all-victorious Christ is like a great rock in a weary land, to whose shelter we may flee in every time of sorrow or trial, finding quiet refuge and peace in him.” 
― J.R. Miller

priceless gift

Eternal life.

God has given us eternal life through His Son Jesus Christ. Why is it, people would rather run to satisfy their earthly passion and desires. cravings. Its like having 2 choices per se.

1. Believe in Jesus Christ and receive Eternal Life. This would involve taking up your cross, denying yourself your own personal wants and desires, and following Christ. The Road is narrow and it may not be easy at all. Worldly success is not secured.

2. Do what i want and desire, follow my dreams, follow my heart. Work hard to live a life of luxury. Big house, nice car, vacations, great food, lovely clothes. Win a trip ticket to travel the world, Go shopping every single day. Dine fine dining every night. My way, My will , My life. Access denied to spending eternity with God. Forsaking His ways and not bothered about His will.

the 1st, you cant see. you can't feel. Its not directly infront of you. But its living within you, bearing eternal fruits. You may not have big car, big house , nice clothes when you seek this. the road might be tough, but you are joyful and full of peace. Knowing that it pleases the Father that you love others more than yourself. Becoming a servant, broken bread. Letting known to people of the wonderful gifts of God.

the 2nd is right in front of your eyes. You see people around you getting them. Lust of the eyes, Lust of the flesh and the Pride of Life. Glamour, Luxury, Coolness, Popularity, Money, Statue, Glits. Its obtainable , just believe in yourself. Just use your talents , work hard, give yourself to the world. Please them. Make sure you don't lose out.

I think as much as we like to think that we can have both. or that God is there to help us with no.2 but God already said that His Kingdom is not on earth. Flirt with the world all you like, you are only quenching the Holy Spirit.

Its as though the WHOLE WORLD is fallen. Its completely dark. Satan is its ruler. ( Okay im not just trying to sound weird . its true ) And as believers we are the light of the world. We shed something of the heavenly. Of the Eternal. Its important that our light is always shining! and that we are always salty!

Im guilty of being tempted by the things of the world.

I want to keep my eyes on things above :)

watchman nee

He does not want to see us suffer. We must be clear about this. God is reserving all the good things for His children. We can enjoy all of His provisions which He has given to us.

Suffering is a matter of choice, not a matter of imposition. We choose the way of suffering. We suffer willingly for the sake of serving Him. According to God's plan, we can avoid many sufferings. However, for the sake of serving God, we would rather gladly choose a way that is different from that of ordinary people. This is what it means to have a mind to suffer. Having a mind to suffer is a fundamental necessity in the character of a servant of God. Without such a mind, we will produce little results in our work, and the work we do will be very superficial in quality. If a worker of the Lord does not have a mind to suffer, he cannot work at all in the eyes of God. Let us speak of a few things related to this subject.

For instance, the Lord may put you in circumstances where you are provided with food and clothing and a nicely furnished home. It does not mean that you cannot continue to enjoy all the provisions He has given you. If the Lord has made such provisions, you can accept them from the Lord. But within, you still have a mind to suffer for Him. Although you are not suffering physically, you must have a mind to suffer. It is not a question of whether you have encountered something outwardly, but whether you have a mind to suffer inwardly. Do you have a mind to suffer even when circumstances are smooth and easy? The Lord may not arrange for you to suffer every day, but every worker of the Lord must not be short of a mind to suffer, not even for a single day. Suffering may not come to us daily, but a mind to suffer must be with us daily.

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Many brothers and sisters have become useless in God's service because they are afraid to take on any responsibility. They are irked by everything. They constantly hope for less work. They would rather choose less responsibility than more responsibility, and they would be happy to settle for no responsibility at all. They do not have a diligent character. If we are lazy, we are disqualified not only from God's service, but from man's service as well. Many brothers and sisters cannot be servants of the Lord because they are lazy.

What is diligence? It is the opposite of slothfulness. It is not shirking from responsibility. A diligent person does not try to reduce his work to nothing. On the contrary, he tries to create work out of nothing. In the Lord's service, it is quite possible for us to take a day or two of rest if we do not look for work. We should not be those who stand around idly waiting for something to turn up. If we work only when work turns up, we are not diligent persons. A diligent person is never idle; he is always looking for things to do. He is always pondering, praying, contemplating, and considering before God as to what he should do. 

Unless he exercises himself this way, he can find himself with nothing to do. If we only act "according to the book," we may soon find that there is not much of a book left. We should expect to find much work in our service to God. We should discover many needs. We have to pray much to the Lord and look to Him all the time. We should open our eyes, and as soon as we find something that needs to be done, we should do it. After we finish a job, we should wait on the Lord and look to Him again. And as soon as we find more to do, we should tackle it. Following this, we should seek God's will again, and take on yet another task. This is what it means to serve God. The Lord said, "My Father is working until now, and I also am working" (John 5:17). We must never change this verse to read, "My Father is resting until now, and I also am resting." Laziness is not our way; our way should be, "My Father is working until now, and I also am working."

 Today many people are hiding at home instead of journeying in God's way. Their eyes are not on what God is doing today. In John 5:17 the Lord said that He was always doing what His Father had sent Him to do. In John 4:35 He told us to lift up our eyes and look. If we do not lift up our eyes, we will not see anything. The matter of work is altogether related to the matter of diligence. It involves our conscientiousness. It is not a matter of taking care of what is in our hands, but a matter of lifting up our eyes to look for things to do. God is moving and acting behind many things, and we have to lift up our eyes to look for them in order to find them. We have to lift up our eyes to see the harvest and to see if it has ripened. Once we look, we will find work to do. How strange it is that so many people seem so idle; they seem to have nothing to do!

A diligent person always waits on God. As soon as he is free, he goes to the Lord and looks for things to do. He is always seeking an opportunity to work. A brother once said, "Brother So-and-so is not doing his job. So many brothers from out of town are here, and he will not spend any time to fellowship with them." Another brother asked, "Why do you not tell him?" The first brother answered, "Does something like that have to be said?" This is right. A servant of the Lord should always be waiting on God for things to do. Of course, this does not mean that he should move around and make a fuss ostentatiously. But it does mean that the Lord's servant should always be seeking God and looking to Him. He should build up the habit of lifting up his eyes and looking. If he is truly busy, God will not burden him with further work. But as soon as his time becomes available, he should ask, "Lord, what do You want me to do?" As long as we will lift up our eyes, we will find that many people need our service.

They pray day and night for their responsibilities to be reduced or eliminated altogether, and they yearn for the day when they will have no responsibilities at all. This is not the way our Lord works. He came to the world to seek out men, to take on responsibilities. He said that He came "to seek and to save that which is lost." He did not come just to make contacts with men; He came to seek them out. We must have this kind of character before we can go on with the Lord.

Let us, as dying men with fleeting breath and fading opportunity, give ourselves fully to preach the gospel to those who are dying around us. If we drag our feet and fail to see the needs around us, the responsibility that we bear, and the little time that we have, we will not get much of the Lord's work done. Today every servant of God has to serve with a dying urgency. Who can be slothful under such pressure? Brothers and sisters, we must arise and discipline our body in order to be diligent. As Paul said, we have to buffet our body and make it our slave. Just saying that we are eager to serve the Lord is not enough. If we are lazy, we will not be able to tackle any problem before us. Do not think that slothfulness is a small thing. Second Peter 1:8 says that slothfulness is laziness and idleness. We cannot be lazy, and we cannot be idle. We have to buffet our body again and again until we realize that a total, genuine, and daily sacrifice of our life is the only way to work and become useful. We cannot deceive ourselves. Some people say that they will gladly give up their lives for the Lord. Yet they live a lazy life. They try to spare themselves in everything. If they try to bring their character, habits, and disposition into the Lord's work, they will find that they are holding back the Lord's work! If Paul had waited every time for a Macedonian call before he worked, the book of Acts might have recorded only one mission of Paul to Macedonia. The Macedonian call was only one among many in Paul's work. As for the rest of his work, Paul carried it out with a burden which he bore before the Lord. If we have to wait for the brothers to come to us before we will work, we may wait a lifetime for nothing. We work because we have a burden, because we know that the time is short, the need is great, and Satan's attack is fierce. We are forced to be diligent. Slothfulness can make an otherwise useful man useless. It can turn a man of riches into a man who works only to a third, a fifth, or merely a tenth of what he is capable of! Everyone who knows God and who is useful in His hand is diligent.

God's lead.

Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Many things that seem risky are actually quite safe….It is safe to do these things provided they are done in obedience to God. No matter how frightening it may seem at the time, it is always safest to obey God.

-"Every decision can be made with the confidence that God is in control of the ship. Although every person's life consists of the sum total of innumerable big and little decisions (think about it!), Christians can be confident that God will help them make the right decisions. (See James 1:5-6.) Although some bad decisions will be made along the way (and some may be very bad!), let's not get the idea that mistakes will cause us to be permanently cast adrift on the Sea of Life. When we realize and acknowledge our mistakes, and look to God, He will provide us with navigational aids so that proper course corrections for our lives can be attained.
_______
7 C's
 Communicate with God about our decisions. " Acknowledge the lord in All your ways and He shall direct your path "

Conviction of the Holy Spirit

Common Sense for everyday decisions, what to eat, shoes to wear.

Composition , the way the Lord made me , 1 Peter 4:10 tells us that we should use "whatever gift we have received to serve others, administering God's grace in its various forms." On the Sea of Life, God can best use His tugboats, yachts, oil tankers, fishing boats or aircraft carriers when they're willing to do the job they were designed to do!

Counsel from Godly people that you can trust and see bear good fruits.

Circumstances are obviously another one of the Seven C's of God's guidance system. If you believe that God is sovereign, all-knowing, all-powerful and everywhere at the same time, is thereany circumstance that escapes His notice or is out of His control? Of course not! There is nothing that happens by mere chance, and that includes every last detail of our lives. If our all-wise and loving heavenly Father is completely sovereign, can He not control circumstances in such a way so as to lead us to make right decisions? Of course He can! God knows those special and particular niches in every area of life that are just right for every one of us, and He can send just the right winds across the Sea of Life to nudge our ship into the anchorage that is best for each one of us!

In the same way, God sometimes reaches in and takes control of our situation in such a way that we are no longer even involved in the decision! When we are suddenly removed from one ministry and find ourselves in the midst of a new ministry, without having made any decisions ourselves, it is probably a good indication that God is guiding us by control. Sometimes God steps in and controls our decision because some of the other C's seem to be pointing us in a certain direction, but God wants us to go in a different direction. At others times God controls our decision because He knows of some impending danger, or a future unlikely turn of events that a common sense decision-making approach would miss completely. And sometimes God just graciously chooses to use the "C" of Control to deliver us from the dilemma of doubt in the decision-making process."-  David R. Reid.

the rise of the guardians.

As a Christian one thing i like about this movie was its illustration of Believing. And Seeing by Believing instead of the other way around. One major difference is that, even if we don't believe in Christ, He exist and is real.

Before i watched the movie , i was flipping through the Bible and this passage came up.
----
" When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” “Yes, Lord,” they replied. Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you.” And their eyes were opened. Matthew 9:27-30

Jesus told them, "This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent." John 6:29

Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.”  He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.  He was amazed at their lack of faith. - Mark 6:4-6

----

I somehow believe that we must trust that God wants the best for us. Believing in Jesus might lead to us being rejected or laughed at , being sneered at, unaccepted or awkward. But we must continue to believe in God, trust and believe in Jesus all the time. He means for our good and our well being.

Without faith it is impossible to please Him.

Also.. its as though, it is our faith in Him that pleases Him, makes Him happy. He wants us to believe in Him alone. Not what He has given us, not our own talents, the gifts He has given us, other people etc. But Him Alone.  

Im still learning. :)

at the Cross.

at the Cross. I have been redeemed. From self, from the world.

Trust in God. Trust Him to complete His good work in you.

People

Why is it sometimes Christians placed worldly success over charity. As though it is so much better to strive for worldly success, start up a business, become a millionaire than to set aside sometime to help those in need, the poor.

They make it sound as though charity is a waste of time. Why don't they ever ask how the particular business may be a contribution for the greater good of society? Or if its just so that wealth may increase in my personal pursuit and bank account.

The bible talks a lot about forgetting about God's calling.
- build build build material wealth and suddenly His soul calls for Him.
- unable to give up wealth for eternal life.
-hard for the rich to enter into God's reign

God's reign in my life. I was God to be Lord over every area of my life.

Let Go , Let God.

Sometimes i feel what if my life that is so nomadic wastes my time because i've no fix or direct big goal to achieve. Its not that specific. But then a glimpse of Joseph's life will come in mind. Reminding me how He was abandoned by his brothers, sold as a slave, worked as a governor, thrown into prison. He went through many phases.

Did He think He would be Prime Minister while being thrown into a ditch by his own family.

Or while he was sold as a slave. Or while he was charged for a bad crime which he did not commit. Or when he was thrown into prison?

Joseph :
1) Did not lose Hope or his Focus on God's ways.
2) He worked Hard. He was Responsible. He respected his Bosses.
3) He was always Helpful. Generous.
4) He was always in communion with God

Whatever the circumstance , He knew God was ultimately in control.
He did not throw temper tantrum. or Try to work things out His own way. He waited patiently.

" Faith is the substance of things not seen. The evidence of things hoped for." - Hebrews 11:1

His God given dream was ultimately realized. No circumstance no nothing could come in the way of it.

- - - - - -

Like the story of Joseph. as well as Moses.

Let Go, Let God! ( Trust ).

Fears

You've got to start somewhere. start now. you'll only get better.

Random bible study now - profound

Observe, God orders the steps of a good man; not only his way in general, by his written word, but his particular steps, by the whispers of conscience, saying,This is the way, walk in it. He does not always show him his way at a distance, but leads him step by step, as children are led, and so keeps him in a continual dependence upon his guidance; and this, (1.) Because he delights in his way, and is well pleased with the paths of righteousness wherein he walks. The Lord knows the way of the righteous (Ps. 1:6), knows it with favour, and therefore directs it. (2.) That he may delight in his way. Because God orders his way according to his own will, therefore he delights in it; for, as he loves his own image upon us, so he is well pleased with what we do under his guidance.

Matthew Henry Commentary

Psalms 37:23...

Faith

 

² My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. ⁵  

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ⁶ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. ⁷ For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸ he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

- James 1: 2-7 
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 


trials = testing of faith = patience. ( as this fruit is a valuable one. remain joyful in the process )

lacking of wisdom and discernment ? ASK GOD. He will give you wisdom freely. But you must ask in FAITH. you can't receive it without first believing. Trust , BELIEVE! Walk by faith and not by sight.


:)


as the saying goes " Prayer is the Key to Heaven, but Faith unlocks the door "


the link between. trial. believing God and not what is seen by the naked eyes = faith. prayer, asking God for His understanding and realization of things knowing He is more than able and more than loving to withhold it from you if you truly truly believe. Believe that He will give wisdom freely and willingly if you are willing to let go of your own personal thoughts and just Trust Him. Just have faith in the unseen God who's hands at work can most beautifully be seen creating beauty and love.


just some random thoughts for the day :p

Mount Kinabalu:)

1030 Mersilau - 1540 Laban Rata

0235 Laban Rata - 0450 Low's Peak

1035 Laban Rata - 1335 Timpohon

I have no idea why, but climbing mountains have always been something i enjoy.

written on my wall once i decided to go " What is life without Risk, adventure, effort, pain, walking by Faith, helping others and Love, - The view is worth the Climb!"

I really thank God for looking after all of us. And holding us as we climbed the mountain as He does so every day of our lives :) Sometimes i just want to remember that my God is the same God wherever i go and whatever i do. He cares the same, He loves the same, He protects He guides. Just as Peter was walking on the water over to Jesus. All He had to do, it doesn't matter the circumstance, or place or what it was, Its about Eyes on Christ.

this climb made me remember my college days trekking. Its funny how the dots somewhat connect in some spontaneous, magical way c; !

I went and visit my College lecturers' trekking blog just to recall some of the mountains i went too with them and this was a paragraph i found ( haha!!, sounds like me indeed )

Thank You Lord for everything :) 

  

Opportunities.

Opportunities don't come by at just any time.

This thought went through my mind. Having the opportunity to be a teacher is it any less than if i had the opportunity to do something that is say more, specialized or more, whats the word. Exclusive? One of a Kind. Limited. Hmm..

But i do feel that " there is a season for everything under the sun ".

And i'll just know it in my bones. When it comes. That i'll have to risk it. take the leap. and build my wings on the way down. You'll fly sooner or later. You will.

God, if you do want me to seize certain opportunities. Please equip me. Guide me. Give me wisdom and understanding. Grant me favor. May i have courage, to not be afraid.

Your the ultimate giver.

Major onces i remember:

- the perfect timing of the Fashion Design Course in Sydney. Came in the year where they just so happen transitioned to giving out Degree's instead of Diploma's and was fortunate to get into the crash course.
- the Cue Competition , SOTBD Competition and also the YA Competition that made me learn heaps knowing your an awesome provider.
- finding out i did an essay wrongly, wrote it entirely again the night before submission and was able to be a Distinction!!! Since i had never been good in essays. This taught me that, man God will help me in my weakness. I've just got to trust Him.
- the Scholarship to Florence. TOTALLY UNEXPECTED. I was really at peace and pleased with the collection i remembered. But i did not expect at all getting the scholarship. I just knew whatever it is, I can trust God with my future. I remember the night before the presentation, my sewing machine broke down, and the last minute rush, a classmate swapping time with me because she wanted to go earlier which gave me more time. I can't say more.
- Finding accommodation in my final year at the perfect place. Having such a great cg too!.
- Skateboarding :)!!

- Being able to live in Italy for a year :)
- Never thought i'll travel Europe.
- the Church family in Italy. Meeting Kelly and Jessica.

- Teaching. It brings so much joy! And by teaching, i learn heaps :p

- Hearing testimonies of the younger ones. the Angels in heaven do sing praises !

THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU! :)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Lord please keep me be healthy and strong before the climb.
Prepare me Lord for the meet up / discussion about the new possibility that has presented itself to me.
And keep me close to you always. And Thank you once again.

We remember those times in which we break out to victory.
Times where the impossible becomes possible.
Where we take the first step. Risk.
When unexpected surprises presented itself to us.
When we know, Its all God.

He never stops perfecting us for His glory. amen.
Transforming us day by day, if only we trust and obey.

Sorry Lord for all the wrongs i have done. Thank you so much for washing them away.

I commit this July into your hands Lord. May i trust in your care and love for me. Amen.

past, present and future

I was going through my old post, from another blog and i realized how i said i would never want to come back to this country. Because there is so much bad going on in this country. Things that could get you frustrated , annoyed, upset. That sometimes people live like they do not care, or could not be bothered trying anymore. But i guess , i really believe God changed me. Still not perfect. But somehow this time when im back here in this country, i see beauty too, i see kindness and love, and generosity. I can feel at ease and peace. I can be at rest. There is no rush or urgency in me to flee. 

And the reason is that i've learn to just trust God. To see that His guidance, His lead, His wisdom had lead me to see beyond my own eyes. About what life is all about. You know how i took up the job to be a teacher, and it came like an unexpected gift and i realize that i must take this opportunity, it may be tiny but it will be sweet. Sometimes i would think about how life would be, when i'll meet that guy i'll marry, how i am going to support myself financially as well as have enough to look after my parents, and whatever else the future will bring. But even though i may not look like i am reaching towards any goal that may provide the security or stability of what the future may bring. I feel that the Lord will provide, Everything and i mean everything in His perfect timing. That if i just follow him and do His good work that no matter what, i am secure and on solid ground. He will look after me. And whatever the future may bring, He will provide that it will all be covered too. I never need to worry, I never need to strive like the world does.

God wants all of our Heart. 

" Only fear the Lord, and serve Him in truth with all your heart" - 1 Samuel 23:24

" Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, 

And whose hope is in the Lord.

For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,

Which spreads out its roots by the river.

And will not fear when heat comes;

But its leaf will be green.

And will not be anxious in the year of drought,

Nor will cease from yielding fruit" - Jeremiah 17:7-8

" The heart is deceitful above all things,

And desperately wicked;

Who can know it?

I the Lord, search the heart,

I test the mind,

Even to give every man according to his ways,

According to the fruit of his doings. " - Jeremiah 17:10

God bless all :)

Sometimes.

"Sometimes the best things comes from what we view as unfortunate circumstances. It may just be a blessing in disguise. So take hear, Rejoice always, Pray without ceasing and in Everything give Thanks. No matter how much you've tried and if things still don't go your way. It doesn't matter anyway, 'A man's steps are of the Lord, How then can a man understand his own way? ' Trust God.

its been a while bloggey.

Hello bloggey,

I've miss you. 

Mmm. whats been up? well i guess life? which consist of work, play and everything else in between.

Life has been interesting to say the least. Never in my life did i think i'll be where i am. And i guess the reason why i am where i am is because i choose to just keep my heart close to my Father in heaven. He knows things better than i do. I've learn that i didn't have to understand or know why the present is as it is, but to know that i can trust Him who has given it : ) And i can say that He never fails to show me that he cares, and that His purpose will always outshine my thoughts that are not as wide as His :)

Sometimes i wonder if i've taken the right path. I do feel that my heart feels at rest with the chooses i've made because i feel that it was not made out of grasping and striving but by just resting in Him. I know i may loose out in the worldly terms of finance and maybe comfort, popularity, in the advancement of my career, and other stuff the world glorifies. But i know with all my heart, I will not loose out in the long term :) lets keep storing up treasures in heaven. 

Fishers of men.

I feel that i've learn to see that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and that's why i don't ever want to look down on another, or gossip about them because i know im not perfect too. Whatever it is, how ever people are, i want to be able to just be love. I guess it won't be easy? but I've heard its worth it. : ) I hope others will realize that i am different from them, and i do have my strengths and weakness too, just that they have to look at both, even in themselves. 

Guys? im leaving that with God. To much trouble for the brain and heart. I've always failed in this department anyway :P. But im sure God is good and maybe when the time comes i'll know that it was worth the time and everything. I know God will care for me and he won't withhold anything good from me. He cares more than i know.

The holidays are coming, Lord i pray i'll spend the free time to draw closer to you and also to spend quality time doing quality stuff :P. love you :)

till i post again.
thanks for this space .
sometimes its just necessary to breath . . .

:)

my students are awesome!.

work is fun.

trying to balance things, to keep up with the tempo. catching up with family and friends.

learning many things!. OH work life :) Im really thankful for this job. NEVER in my LIFE did i think i'll be a teacher. i mean seriously. me noelle. its crazy things i am doing, because its unexpected.

Life is such a surprise :).

trying not to dwell so much on the, would this happen. thoughts. just take each day as it comes. and commit all to God. and do my best all the time.

Weariness.

"Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us fo good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith." - Galatians 6:9

Thank God for friends. Friends who give you words of encouragement to keep the faith, and run the race. My friends who are working in Singapore now, a lovely couple just last week sent me some wonderful little things with words of encouragement. And i feel so grateful for their friendship. God is definitely using them, and im blessed to have such friends :). Because sometimes i just feel so tired. And sometimes i wonder why i am doing what i am doing, and why i have to do certain things. Sometimes it really gets tiring trying to always give your best. Knowing that you'll always fail somehow.. :(

Lord, be my strength this coming week, help me in accomplishing the things which you set for me to do, because i am taking on new responsibilities now, while maintaining the ones i already have. I pray that somehow I'll learn more about what you want me to learn. Give me strength to be patient, to be kind and to be helpful and to love. Help me to stay calm when things get tough, and to see to the situation with wisdom. Thank you Lord. I really do need you.. I can't do life without.

Because i really am feeling tired. about everything. work, waiting, life in general.

Thank you Lord for always sustaining me and showing me you care.

I fail more often than i think i do, humble me, please be my courage and teach me to react and deal with things in ways which it would please you. Amen.

May this coming week be one whereby i see you brightly taking control of my troubles. amen.

sluggardness.

Sometimes i just feel like keeping myself. not doing anything. like an apple sitting in the fridge, just chilling it.. haha.

Anyway that's not the way to live. Im on break now, so hence the want to recuperate. Rest is good :) But when duty calls, its important to get of my butt and see to the need. Some verses popped up in mind.

"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." - Matthew 16:25

"The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside!" or, "I will be murdered in the streets!" - Proverbs 22:13 niv


"The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets!" - Proverbs 26:13 niv

I feel that sometimes i am so prone to giving excuses to not do something because i am lazy or so and give in to saying, oh because its going to be dangerous. this might happen, that might happen, yada yada imagination goes wild. But then when you read the verses up there, you just get reminded, ' my life is in God's hands, I am secure.' And for me see the need to be obedient to doing good, where you are able to contribute, serve, be a light c: 

"And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence, to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises." - Hebrew 6:11-12

So whenever you can be a light do not hid under a bushel :D hahaha! :) 

peace.

rest.

" Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light. " 
- Matthew 11: 28 - 30


My Father will give me rest.
And i shall find rest in my Father's arms.

word.

" In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence,
And His children will have a place of refuge.
The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life,
To turn one away from the snares of death. " - Proverbs 14:26

A midst all the busyness and cares of life. It is always good to have a cup of the living water. Drawing unto God's word that is just comforting and light. I am so thankful for everything. Though at times, i feel that it is during the times of waiting, of trail and difficulties that i draw nearer to the Lord. During the storm. Because during easy times, during times of blue skies, it is somewhat easy to fall asleep, to drift away, to not be bothered about spending time with God, because life is good and so the focus drifts on the bothers of this life. But how necessary it is. How necessary it is to draw upon the living water. To be close to God's reality of life. To be reminded of what is required of us lest we forget. 

Time to wake up.

And spend more time with the Father.

:)

I wish this for you too.

love.

love suffers long and is kind.
love does not envy.
love does not boast.
love does not behave rudely.
love does not seek its own.
love is not provoked.
love thinks no evil.
love does not rejoice in iniquity but in truth.
love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
love never fails.

- 1 corinthians 13 : 4 - 8

thy will be done.

" life, you'll never know what is on the pages to come, but the pages have to be turned. Let go of the previous and head on towards the next. Cling on tight to the One who turns the pages. He will guide you to an everlasting story if only you'll surrender your, pen. :) "

made.

its funny when time passes and you've changed, grown up, matured, call it what you may. and you see things all in a different perspective. but the difference doesn't really matter unless you are now seeing things through the eyes of the Father. 

Being away from malaysia and being back again, graduating from high school and being back but on the other side. Just like how you were once a kid and now you see as one who has lived the experience. And experience has taught me that Christ needs to have His rightful place in my life :)

food for thoughts.

" A servant of God has but one Master. It ill becomes the servant to seek to be rich, and great, and honored in that world where his Lord was poor, and mean, and despised. " - George Mueller

cares of life.

Sometimes we all need a day of silents. rest. pausing. a breather.

Jesus always found quiet time to be alone with the Father. With all the challenges and cares of this life. We need to always find time to regain focus on God, to replenish their relationship hence our soul is feed. To remember what Life is all about in Christ. And how His burden for us is light :)

" Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who builds it " - Psalms 127:1

Continue to lean on God in all things. Good times and bad times, hard times and happy times, during all seasons in life! Because He loves us! and without you knowing, you can thank God in all things, and whatever you are facing, because He cares, you may not understand, but its because our eyesight is limited. So let us continue to walk in faith, believing in Him and not by what we see, knowing the one who holds our hands and who picks us up when we stumble, Knows all things. :) We can always rejoice and be thankful .

isaiah

the thing about the Lord,

is that, He does.

He acts on the behalf of those who wait on Him :)

He does so willingly.

what He requires is that we have faith in believing that He will deliver as He has promised.

To be patience, and in that time of testing.

Our faith will be strengthened , we see what faith in God can do.

- - - - - - -

The battlefield of the mind and the heart. pride and self willed.

hence the first commandment. that teaches us to take the focus of our own self.

Lets run the race keeping our eyes above. amen.

founded on the rock.

" But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand; and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall. " - Matthew 7: 26-27

Security is founded on the rock. Whoever hears what God says and does what He ask of us will be found to be standing on solid ground no matter the circumstances around. :) It is a lovely promise indeed.

" Blessed is the man who trust in the Lord,

And whose hope is the Lord.

For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,

Which spreads out its roots by the river.

And will not fear when heat comes;

But its leaf will be green,

And will not be anxious in the year of drought,

Nor will cease from yielding fruit. " - Jeremiah 17: 7-9

When we trust in God, we obey. And when we are obedient to His word, and we trust Him, He becomes our hope. And when He is our hope, we won't have to fear anything that comes our way :)

- - - - - -

Whatever He provides, The new grounds we have to enter, Blessings; they all come with their own set of challenges, test and trails. So lets lean upon the man Up there who has everything in His hands, the Maker of all ! We never need fear when He is around. :) take heart and live by faith.

c:

Lord,

may it be that i never seek for false security in strength of men or high gates, but solely in you father. May i never seek after riches, fame, coolness or earthly pleasures but to find my supplication and contentment in you alone. May i learn to let go just to cling on to you. To associate with the humble, to never fight for my rights but keep quiet. To learn to live a quiet life, pleasing to you. Having a gentle and quiet spirit. 

"He who loves transgression loves strife, 
And he who exalts his gate seeks destruction." - Proverbs 17:19

"There is one who makes himself rich, yet has nothing;

And one who makes himself poor, yet has great riches." - Proverbs 13:7

Amen.

tomorrow

" Come now, you who say, " Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit"; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what if your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away, Instead you ought to say, " If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that." But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin. " - James 4:13-17

Leaving the Lord out of the plan, not having Him in the centre, nor letting Him have the say ..

Being self willed, forceful, having own crafty plans and programs, own desires and pleasures to see too, and not caring if the Lord has the final say,... 

displeases Him. separates us from Him.

Let us continue to commit all our ways to the Lord and let Him have the final say :)

May your will be done.

God is my strength and provision.

" If you faint in the day of adversity, Your strength is small." - Proverbs 24:10

" ..Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor " - Psalm 40:5

" The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way. 
Thought he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the Lord upholds him with His hand. " 
- Psalm 37:23-24

Salt.

" And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

For which of you, intending to build a tower does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it - least, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish,... So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.

Salt is good; but if the salt has lost its flavor, how shall it be seasoned?"


- Luke 14:25 - 35 ( Read the whole thing )


- - - - - - - - - -

You can't read this message any other way. There can't be an inch of self-will or self-empowerment left if you truly want to follow Christ and be His disciple. It is total submission. You may think i am being extreme, but God sending His only begotten sinless Son to die for our sins that is beyond extreme, Where His life on earth was not His own self-willed or self-interest but that of to do the will of the Father. (John6:38) So its either you deny yourself, take up your cross daily, and Follow Christ or nothing.

God is gracious and merciful and kind. He is all sufficient :) And it is joyous thing walking with the Lord! it truly is, a true blessing indeed! The King of the universe guiding you, being your daily bread :)

Will you humbly walk with Him?

By faith.

" By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt for he looked to the reward."

"By faith he forsook Egypt.. " Hebrew 11: 24-27

Let go of the world its deceitfulness and uncertainties, of self and its pride and cling on to Christ. 

True reward, is found in Him alone.

Press on, by faith.

labor.

" Mostly assuredly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled. Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal on Him."

Then they said to Him, " What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?"

Jesus said to them, " This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent. "

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

What Gods wants is simple from us. He wants us to abide in Him, to have a personal real and honest relationship with Him. To believe in all of Him. And we can know God through Jesus. Jesus is the only way, truth and life! We can only get to the Father through Jesus Christ. And when we are truly walking with Him with our hands wide open letting go of all our independence and cares of this world will we be truly willing to follow Christ. Like how He said, deny yourself, take up your cross and Follow me.  You see, what God has to offer to us is nothing like what the world can offer us! Its much much greater and much much better, It is the only place where Life can be found in abundance. He is, the Living Water :) Continue and continue to seek Him first each day, and give Him your entire self! And He can fully abide Himself in you. Read His word daily, man do not live on bread alone but on every word that comes our from the mouth of God. May His peace and joy will keep you full always :)!

He will guide us in all truth.

".. that He should give eternal life to as many as You have given Him. And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. " - John 17: 3

" My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight, so that I should not be delivered to the Jews; but now my kingdom is not from here. " - John 18:36

"... I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sunrise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." - Matthew 5:44-48

" However. when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you. " - John 16:12